The Experience of Meeting You Is Your Brand

I’ve been to a number of events lately. Conferences, industry evenings and client functions. Different formats, different audiences, yet I walked away with the same underlying feeling each time.

It’s not the event. It’s how we show up. Here are a few reminders.

It’s not that people don’t value networking. It’s that they’re not focused on how they do it. Most people understand that relationships drive opportunities, collaboration and growth. Research continues to reinforce that social capital plays a critical role in business performance and career progression.

The challenge is rarely knowledge. It’s application.

I was reminded of this again as I thought back to an article I wrote many years ago, “It’s NOT Nice to Meet You” for the Women's Lawyers Association of NSW. I've recently done a few workshops for law firms, hence I dug this up from 2014. Back then, I wrote about name tags being grabbed and conversations starting with “what do you do?” and how quickly networking can feel transactional.

Reading it again recently, I realised not much has changed!

When networking becomes forced

At one of the conferences, we were asked to meet five people in five minutes. On paper, it sounds productive. Efficient. High energy. In reality, it felt rushed and transactional (I stood back and watched). There was no space to understand who someone was, what mattered to them or whether there was any real alignment. It became a process of collecting names rather than creating connection.

We know from both experience and research that strong relationships are built on relevance, shared context and repeated interaction. A quick introduction can open the door, but without depth or follow-up, it rarely leads anywhere meaningful.

At another event, we were moved around the room between each speaker. The intention was clearly to mix people up and create opportunity, but without any real time to talk between sessions, it became movement without meaning.

I had invited someone to attend with me because I genuinely wanted time with them. There was also a speaker I knew from interstate that I was hoping to reconnect with, and another I hadn’t yet met but wanted to introduce myself to. Instead, I met a lot of people but didn’t feel like I connected with many.

And that’s an important distinction. Not every conversation at an event needs to happen, and not every interaction will be relevant. That’s the nature of bringing a broad group of people together.

However, when everything is treated as equal, nothing becomes particularly meaningful. Strategic connection requires intention. It means having a sense of who you want to spend time with and why, and allowing those interactions the space they need to develop. Yet many event formats, and often our own behaviours, push us towards volume over value.

Interestingly, a large percentage of professionals say their networks don’t actively support the outcomes they need. More often than not, it’s not because they haven’t met enough people, but because those connections haven’t been developed in a way that creates ongoing relevance.

The small moments that define you

A different experience at an evening event brought this into even sharper focus. The organising committee was running behind, and as I arrived early and know the host well, I offered to step behind the welcome desk. Many arrived with warmth, eye contact and genuine appreciation. Sadly others were focused purely on getting their name badge and moving into the room, blanking me entirely and ignoring my attempt to introduce myself and greet them.

The welcome is the very first interaction someone has with an event. It sets the tone for the entire experience. It shapes how people feel as they walk into the room. The people standing there are often giving their time to make the event work and deserve to be treated with respect.

Later that evening, I was chatting to one of the Director's when we were approached by another guest. I was introduced to them again. This time, he looked a little uncomfortable when he discovered I was a guest too and he had dismissed me earlier.

How we show up in small moments is often more revealing than how we show up when it “matters”.

Awareness is part of the experience

There is one final observation that stands out across a number of events. Small groups gathering around the bar and directly in front of food tables, unintentionally blocking access for others. It’s a small thing, but it impacts the flow of the room and the experience for everyone else.

Strong relationship builders are not only focused on their own conversations. They are considerate of the environment around them. They read the room, notice what’s happening and adjust accordingly. That level of consideration is part of relational intelligence. It’s not just about what you say, but how you operate within a shared space.

In many ways, this is where the real opportunity sits. In a world where technology is accelerating connection, the human experience of interacting with someone has become even more important.

A simple reset for the year ahead...

As calendars fill with events, it’s worth taking a moment to review how we approach them.

• Focus on depth over volume. One meaningful conversation will always outperform a handful of rushed ones

• Be intentional. Know who you want to connect with before you walk in

• Treat every interaction with respect. From the welcome desk to the keynote speaker, it all matters

• Be aware of your environment. Create space for others to move, engage and participate

• Stay present. People remember how you made them feel far more than what you said

Building meaningful relationships has never been about meeting as many people as possible. It’s about being intentional with your time, present in your conversations and mindful of how others experience you.

Because in a world where everyone is “networking”, very few people are doing it in a way that creates lasting value. And that’s where the opportunity lies.

I would love to hear from you and explore how we can elevate your relational potential.

Happy Netships for now,

Julia

Julia Palmer a respected Relational Strategist and Chief Executive of Relatus, helping you develop your relational capabilities to give you the human advantage.