Words Before Fists, Humanity Before Everything
- Julia Palmer
- 13 minutes ago
- 3 min read
As 2025 comes to a close, this year has also marked a personal and professional milestone, 20 years since Relatus began its work in relationship development.
Over two decades, we have seen the world change dramatically. Technology has advanced, workplaces have evolved, and the pace of life has accelerated. But one thing has remained constant: humans still need other humans. And relationships, whether at home, at work, or in the wider community, do not take care of themselves. They require skill, intention, and effort.
Humans evolved to connect through language. Words were our first tools for survival, collaboration, and care. Across cultures and countries, we have developed rich, beautiful languages to help us understand one another. It’s something I’ve always valued deeply, my mum speaks six languages, I speak four, and it’s a reminder that communication is a privilege.
Words are meant to build bridges, not break them.
This year has tested that belief. For our family, it has been an exceptionally difficult year, marked by experiences no one should have to face, bullying, assaults, and the painful consequences of other people’s poor choices. Those closest to us have also navigated grief, illness, and the quiet exhaustion that comes from repeated exposure to unkind or careless behaviour. And globally, we have all witnessed the damage caused when humanity is lost, when people forget the weight of their actions, their words, or their indifference.
One thing I hold firmly to is this: we have taught our children to use their emotional intelligence and their words, not their fists. To pause before reacting. To speak before striking. To recognise that emotions are information, not instructions. That belief is not accidental, it is learned, practised, and reinforced.
And that is the heart of the work we have been doing at Relatus for 20 years.
Soft, social, and emotional skills are not “nice to have.” They are not innate traits reserved for a few. They are learnable human skills. They can be taught, practised, strengthened, and refined (ask us for the proof). And in today’s world, they must be.
Relational capability, emotional awareness, presence, and communication are what allow us to navigate difference, manage conflict, build trust, and create environments where people can work together rather than against one another. They are the skills that turn reaction into response, isolation into connection, and friction into progress.
Recently, I read a quote drawn from Buddhist teachings that continues to resonate:
“Before becoming a Christian, a Muslim, a Hindu, or a Buddhist, let us become human first.”
Before titles, beliefs, roles, or opinions, we are people. And being human comes with responsibility, to ourselves, to one another, and to the systems we are part of.
As we move into the end-of-year break, my hope is that this pause gives us all space to rest, reconnect, and reflect. To hold our loved ones a little closer. And to return with renewed commitment to doing better, choosing better words, deeper presence, and more considered actions.
After 20 years of teaching these skills, one truth is clearer than ever: better humans create better workplaces, better communities, and a better world.
Humanity must always come first,
Julia
Julia Palmer a respected Relational Strategist and Chief Executive of Relatus, helping you develop your relational capabilities to give you the human advantage.
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